Seems I have been asking myself that a lot these past few days! My RL has been beyond crazy and the only real break away from it is me being able to log in....that being said, my SL hasn't exactly been smooth sailing lately either! I cant flippin win *sighs*
If it's not jumped up hookers that seem to think they are all high and mighty talking to you like your something they just wiped from their plastic stilettos its other people asking so much of you and expecting so much from you. How do I even get myself into these situations?
First of all - and don't get me wrong, if you want to be a hooker, sorry, escort, that's absolutely fine with me, I have nothing against it it's your choice BUT if you want to talk to me like I'm some dumbass for asking 1 simple question then I think you need to be reminded it is *you* that is selling yourself for a living, not me, it is *you* that has to have a wishlist of things you want others to buy for you, not me, I can buy that myself! Don't step to me with your holier than thou attitude when your legs open more than your eyes do.
Secondly - and this I'm stuck on. Kind of, I don't even know! Why is it ok for someone to ask so much of me, expect so much when they give so little? Or gave so little. Things happen and time moves on, how are you supposed to just jump back to a point previous and get on with it like nothing changed. Why is it ok to be told repeatedly 'i want this, i need this, i need whatever' common factor in that is I. Because its whats best for you. No-one gave a fuck what was best for me, still, it doesn't matter what is best for me, just whats best for others. Why is that ok? Is that ok? Why do I let myself get sucked right back in, I was doing good, right?
It's all too much, and people wonder why I cut all ties or I get 'cold' about things. I'm pretty sure people see the kind of person I am and think oh she will give everything, she will be good to me yada yada yada and think its ok to exploit that. Exploit? that's a harsh word but it fits.
There is so much going on in my head right now I'm surprised it hasn't fallen off or ran off more like. I don't want to think about things, make decisions, process all the crap that's been given to me. Dumped on me - again. I think that was the huge pull of the UNIA game I played.
Which I completed! Yay to that. Well, I only just found out, courtesy of Q - a really nice super helpful pea! that I unintentionally cut a couple corners in the game. 3 to be exact, that I know of lol. So I didn't open the briefcase in the car boot before completing the rooms the apparition takes you to. The briefcase held all the files that gave you clues on how to do each room. Huge grin to the fact I didn't need them, but the real reason I didn't have them was because I couldn't find the code to open the case. I since found it, and I'm pretty sure Q was taking the piss with his hint on how to get the code but I was laughing at how obvious it was too. After.
So now I have to figure out how to get the rifle from the locker and what the poster with the force field on it means...Q where you at?? lol
It was a great game though, couldn't have got past the turrets without his help, and it was a great way to completely immerse myself away from everything else, every ones demands, my thoughts and obnoxious hookers and whatever else.
I will definitely be going gold for peatonville. Hurry up Friday!
Tuesday, 29 September 2015
Sunday, 27 September 2015
Slowly goin crazy
Who said it would be a good idea to start a completely player immersive game (in the wrong order might i add) when the help group is shutting down and the new game is a matter of days away??
Oh, that would be me.
So I did Madpeas 'The Collection' game, which was like a hunt, point and click interactive type of thing and it was really cool. Of course I only did the bronze level, didn't think id like it all that much but it was great. I remember when I started it, it gave a bit of back ground story about a town called Molimo. Anyway, it took me 2 or 3 days to complete it. I wondered about this placed called Molimo, I mean it had to mean something for it to be mentioned right?
Cue UNIA, another Madpea game, set in Molimo! I'm kinda guessing UNIA should have been played before The Collection but I went backwards! So far, ive been abducted, chased by scarecrows, worm food countless times, been shot at by turrets, have been murdered by hooks um 3 times now? and it just keeps goin lol. Oh and I kicked a hay bale monsters ass and stole his pitchfork! The puzzles you find when you chase the blue phantom thing are really cool, and hard! I think I'm about half way through. Luckily, due to some sl glitch, I managed to replay the puzzle over and over without being crushed in between the walls. A few others tried whilst I was there and they got crushed lol so I've no idea why I didn't. Anyway, I completed that 1. It's just the rest of the game I have to figure out....
Kinda hard when the official help group is closing down but I will keep at it until I crack it or crack up. Whichever comes first!
I'm not sure if being ill in RL is a help or a hinderence but I do know I'm addicted. And that being said....I'm going back to UNIA! wish me luck lol
Oh, that would be me.
So I did Madpeas 'The Collection' game, which was like a hunt, point and click interactive type of thing and it was really cool. Of course I only did the bronze level, didn't think id like it all that much but it was great. I remember when I started it, it gave a bit of back ground story about a town called Molimo. Anyway, it took me 2 or 3 days to complete it. I wondered about this placed called Molimo, I mean it had to mean something for it to be mentioned right?
Cue UNIA, another Madpea game, set in Molimo! I'm kinda guessing UNIA should have been played before The Collection but I went backwards! So far, ive been abducted, chased by scarecrows, worm food countless times, been shot at by turrets, have been murdered by hooks um 3 times now? and it just keeps goin lol. Oh and I kicked a hay bale monsters ass and stole his pitchfork! The puzzles you find when you chase the blue phantom thing are really cool, and hard! I think I'm about half way through. Luckily, due to some sl glitch, I managed to replay the puzzle over and over without being crushed in between the walls. A few others tried whilst I was there and they got crushed lol so I've no idea why I didn't. Anyway, I completed that 1. It's just the rest of the game I have to figure out....
Kinda hard when the official help group is closing down but I will keep at it until I crack it or crack up. Whichever comes first!
I'm not sure if being ill in RL is a help or a hinderence but I do know I'm addicted. And that being said....I'm going back to UNIA! wish me luck lol
Thursday, 24 September 2015
Calm after the storm
Ok, I'm calm. Or calmer. Yesterday was an off day - for various reasons. I reached my tipping point way quicker than I expected and in all honesty, who would be happy to log in to a load of shit from anyone after a crappy morning in RL?
Anyway, its done - deep breath. Almost went right back to needing validation from someone else but after a few hours sleep (still not sleeping good lol) I know I don't *need* someone to make me feel better. Doesn't mean I don't want someone to do that, i do, but I'm a tough cookie, I can handle it.
I did think about removing the post but why should I, its how I felt yesterday and besides, the point of this blog is not to entertain others or to become something, it's a personal record, my personal record of *My* SL. Music is kinda keeping me grounded.
So between, mini storms in teacups and unwanted lectures about virtues we all step over, I've been wondering what to do, between work and other stuff :) Wanted to do the twisted hunt but I never really got over the fact I have a few of the cubes missing from my collection now. Will never have the complete set so I'm like what's the point. I did find this amazing little place, very pretty sim. Even had what I've been searching for for so long! Oh and I'm undecided if I should start UNIA. I'm thinking go for the bronze hud to see if I like it then maybe go back for the silver or gold. I don't know. The last madpeas game I played was awesome, only did the bronze then too so might do a higher level.
I think i need to stop thinking and start doing!
Anyway, its done - deep breath. Almost went right back to needing validation from someone else but after a few hours sleep (still not sleeping good lol) I know I don't *need* someone to make me feel better. Doesn't mean I don't want someone to do that, i do, but I'm a tough cookie, I can handle it.
I did think about removing the post but why should I, its how I felt yesterday and besides, the point of this blog is not to entertain others or to become something, it's a personal record, my personal record of *My* SL. Music is kinda keeping me grounded.
So between, mini storms in teacups and unwanted lectures about virtues we all step over, I've been wondering what to do, between work and other stuff :) Wanted to do the twisted hunt but I never really got over the fact I have a few of the cubes missing from my collection now. Will never have the complete set so I'm like what's the point. I did find this amazing little place, very pretty sim. Even had what I've been searching for for so long! Oh and I'm undecided if I should start UNIA. I'm thinking go for the bronze hud to see if I like it then maybe go back for the silver or gold. I don't know. The last madpeas game I played was awesome, only did the bronze then too so might do a higher level.
I think i need to stop thinking and start doing!
Wednesday, 23 September 2015
Somethin to say...
I apologize in advance BUT....
If you want to send me abuse to the extent that you did - again, and not expect me to fire back you are seriously wrong. The first time you wanted to call me all the names under the sun, you got away with with me smiling and telling you have a nice day, second time? No fucking way. Who the fuck do you seriously think you are? And don't pretend like your not going to see this - I know you sit there and watch every damn thing I'm doing coz your sad like that. You even have to go to the extent of using MY friends, wait, let me rephrase that, the snakes around me to find out things and give you the ammo you THINK you have.
Lol what did they tell you? I spend too much trying to look nice? I'm always alone? Im fucking some new guy that probably has 10 other girls going?
It's PATHETIC!
The funny part is that you actually think your smart the way you went about it, oh and just a f.y.i the DMCA was dropped against Belleza so you can go fuck yourself with the same line your trying to run about me buying stolen content. Yes, it cost 4k, so??? I worked fucking hard for my money and I'll spend it on what I want, when I want. Don't get mad coz you can't! The people that really know me, know that I 100% support any creator that has had something stolen or copybotted. What you have to say on supposed stolen content will in no way shape or form ruin my work.
Your a sad little boy that can't deal with the fact you screwed up! You walked away from me remember? Best fucking day of my life in all honesty. Wasn't like you had it down or anything, i was scared to be on my own but you know what - I got over it! I'm perfectly fine on my own. I can fuck me better than you ever could!
And as for your opinions on the current relationship you think I'm hiding - round of applause, you actually put a rational explanation together as to why I would hide something. Here's the flaw to your idea, I DON'T CARE! I do not care enough to hide something from you, or anyone else any more. You just don't like the fact I'm happy.
Want to call me a slut for having fun? Go for it, want to stand around with people you think you know laughing and joking, oh she's fucking some new guy, he don't even love her, she's just a waste. I DON'T CARE!
Yes I'm fucking some new guy as you put it, it will never be you so get over it. He don't love me? Doesn't change the fact I'm fucking him :) You might know how to hit me where it hurts but I still get back up.
And don't think I wont know who's been feeding all this info to you, you forget I have very few people around me that know the kind of stuff your coming at me with. Wont take me long - in fact I'm pretty sure I already know. You all have seriously bad memories, see before you tried it with me, you all happily told me every single 1 of you dirty little secrets and its just a waiting game before I put you on blast and your whole worlds come crashing down around you. How is the family btw? :) You have no idea what family means. We were family, I broke my back for you and this is what I get?
Oh and you can A.R the ass out of me, your just wasting your time. I've done nothing wrong, you guys on the other hand... lol yea, lets just say it can be all over in a click of the send button.
I'm not a bad person, far from it, the people that matter to me know exactly who I am, but keep pushing it and I'll go to those depths, and I'll still come out of it smiling.
I bet your sitting there, reading this, twisting up that face of yours thinking she wouldn't do that
FUCKING TRY ME
I dare you
If you want to send me abuse to the extent that you did - again, and not expect me to fire back you are seriously wrong. The first time you wanted to call me all the names under the sun, you got away with with me smiling and telling you have a nice day, second time? No fucking way. Who the fuck do you seriously think you are? And don't pretend like your not going to see this - I know you sit there and watch every damn thing I'm doing coz your sad like that. You even have to go to the extent of using MY friends, wait, let me rephrase that, the snakes around me to find out things and give you the ammo you THINK you have.
Lol what did they tell you? I spend too much trying to look nice? I'm always alone? Im fucking some new guy that probably has 10 other girls going?
It's PATHETIC!
The funny part is that you actually think your smart the way you went about it, oh and just a f.y.i the DMCA was dropped against Belleza so you can go fuck yourself with the same line your trying to run about me buying stolen content. Yes, it cost 4k, so??? I worked fucking hard for my money and I'll spend it on what I want, when I want. Don't get mad coz you can't! The people that really know me, know that I 100% support any creator that has had something stolen or copybotted. What you have to say on supposed stolen content will in no way shape or form ruin my work.
Your a sad little boy that can't deal with the fact you screwed up! You walked away from me remember? Best fucking day of my life in all honesty. Wasn't like you had it down or anything, i was scared to be on my own but you know what - I got over it! I'm perfectly fine on my own. I can fuck me better than you ever could!
And as for your opinions on the current relationship you think I'm hiding - round of applause, you actually put a rational explanation together as to why I would hide something. Here's the flaw to your idea, I DON'T CARE! I do not care enough to hide something from you, or anyone else any more. You just don't like the fact I'm happy.
Want to call me a slut for having fun? Go for it, want to stand around with people you think you know laughing and joking, oh she's fucking some new guy, he don't even love her, she's just a waste. I DON'T CARE!
Yes I'm fucking some new guy as you put it, it will never be you so get over it. He don't love me? Doesn't change the fact I'm fucking him :) You might know how to hit me where it hurts but I still get back up.
And don't think I wont know who's been feeding all this info to you, you forget I have very few people around me that know the kind of stuff your coming at me with. Wont take me long - in fact I'm pretty sure I already know. You all have seriously bad memories, see before you tried it with me, you all happily told me every single 1 of you dirty little secrets and its just a waiting game before I put you on blast and your whole worlds come crashing down around you. How is the family btw? :) You have no idea what family means. We were family, I broke my back for you and this is what I get?
Oh and you can A.R the ass out of me, your just wasting your time. I've done nothing wrong, you guys on the other hand... lol yea, lets just say it can be all over in a click of the send button.
I'm not a bad person, far from it, the people that matter to me know exactly who I am, but keep pushing it and I'll go to those depths, and I'll still come out of it smiling.
I bet your sitting there, reading this, twisting up that face of yours thinking she wouldn't do that
FUCKING TRY ME
I dare you
Tuesday, 22 September 2015
Just one of them days
Today has definitely been 1 of them days, up down round the bend loop da loop and then come to a screaching halt. Music, that was the answer and who would have known the radio stream for where I stay is pretty damn good! So much so I had to download some of the songs to my phone (wtg Apple music, screw you spotify). Anyway, I'm standing around with not much to do, dancing around like an ass. Was kinda scary as i could 100% see me dancing like that in RL! lol, thats when it hit, my favourite song came on and it started me off on a little hunt of more of his songs....
I played 'One call away' that was it, that was my un-doing, so to speak!
Eyes filled up, heart melted, even had this little pout thing going on lol. I can hand on heart say that this song is everythin I want in someone. Who wouldn't? And he's absolutely adorable <3
I played 'One call away' that was it, that was my un-doing, so to speak!
Eyes filled up, heart melted, even had this little pout thing going on lol. I can hand on heart say that this song is everythin I want in someone. Who wouldn't? And he's absolutely adorable <3
Monday, 21 September 2015
Totally irrelevant BUT
BONES IS BACK!!!
Do you even realise how excited I am about that?? October 1st season 11 kicks off woop! (completely irrelevant to SL hence the post title :p)
Apparently Booth is missing though? Bones is going to have a little boy, just wait and see and I have this really bad feeling gambling has something to do with Booths disappearance :( The last season saw him slipping back into his old lifestyle but I'm hoping he recovers. There's no Bones without Booth!
I've loved this show for years, mainly because it had Angel from buffy in it (yup, i was a die hard fan of that) but it had me hooked with the story lines and the mystery. Plus it was adorable watching Booth chase Bones and be like 'it's going to happen, you might as well give in'
Cried when they killed off sweets, he was lovely and poor Daisy! But what she did when he baby was born was real sweet.
By far, the best on-going story line was the Palante one. Apparently, I think in this season, there's supposed to be another serial killer like him but worse! Cant wait.
Anyway, nerd rant over! I'm going to have a nice cup of hot chocolate to calm down lol
<3
Do you even realise how excited I am about that?? October 1st season 11 kicks off woop! (completely irrelevant to SL hence the post title :p)
Apparently Booth is missing though? Bones is going to have a little boy, just wait and see and I have this really bad feeling gambling has something to do with Booths disappearance :( The last season saw him slipping back into his old lifestyle but I'm hoping he recovers. There's no Bones without Booth!
I've loved this show for years, mainly because it had Angel from buffy in it (yup, i was a die hard fan of that) but it had me hooked with the story lines and the mystery. Plus it was adorable watching Booth chase Bones and be like 'it's going to happen, you might as well give in'
Cried when they killed off sweets, he was lovely and poor Daisy! But what she did when he baby was born was real sweet.
By far, the best on-going story line was the Palante one. Apparently, I think in this season, there's supposed to be another serial killer like him but worse! Cant wait.
Anyway, nerd rant over! I'm going to have a nice cup of hot chocolate to calm down lol
<3
If i showed you my flaws....
Nothing to say on this other than its probably one of the easiest song to relate to. Pretty sure i wont be the only one thinking that. Love it <3 Oh and to answer you Adam - hell yes!
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