Seems I have been asking myself that a lot these past few days! My RL has been beyond crazy and the only real break away from it is me being able to log in....that being said, my SL hasn't exactly been smooth sailing lately either! I cant flippin win *sighs*
If it's not jumped up hookers that seem to think they are all high and mighty talking to you like your something they just wiped from their plastic stilettos its other people asking so much of you and expecting so much from you. How do I even get myself into these situations?
First of all - and don't get me wrong, if you want to be a hooker, sorry, escort, that's absolutely fine with me, I have nothing against it it's your choice BUT if you want to talk to me like I'm some dumbass for asking 1 simple question then I think you need to be reminded it is *you* that is selling yourself for a living, not me, it is *you* that has to have a wishlist of things you want others to buy for you, not me, I can buy that myself! Don't step to me with your holier than thou attitude when your legs open more than your eyes do.
Secondly - and this I'm stuck on. Kind of, I don't even know! Why is it ok for someone to ask so much of me, expect so much when they give so little? Or gave so little. Things happen and time moves on, how are you supposed to just jump back to a point previous and get on with it like nothing changed. Why is it ok to be told repeatedly 'i want this, i need this, i need whatever' common factor in that is I. Because its whats best for you. No-one gave a fuck what was best for me, still, it doesn't matter what is best for me, just whats best for others. Why is that ok? Is that ok? Why do I let myself get sucked right back in, I was doing good, right?
It's all too much, and people wonder why I cut all ties or I get 'cold' about things. I'm pretty sure people see the kind of person I am and think oh she will give everything, she will be good to me yada yada yada and think its ok to exploit that. Exploit? that's a harsh word but it fits.
There is so much going on in my head right now I'm surprised it hasn't fallen off or ran off more like. I don't want to think about things, make decisions, process all the crap that's been given to me. Dumped on me - again. I think that was the huge pull of the UNIA game I played.
Which I completed! Yay to that. Well, I only just found out, courtesy of Q - a really nice super helpful pea! that I unintentionally cut a couple corners in the game. 3 to be exact, that I know of lol. So I didn't open the briefcase in the car boot before completing the rooms the apparition takes you to. The briefcase held all the files that gave you clues on how to do each room. Huge grin to the fact I didn't need them, but the real reason I didn't have them was because I couldn't find the code to open the case. I since found it, and I'm pretty sure Q was taking the piss with his hint on how to get the code but I was laughing at how obvious it was too. After.
So now I have to figure out how to get the rifle from the locker and what the poster with the force field on it means...Q where you at?? lol
It was a great game though, couldn't have got past the turrets without his help, and it was a great way to completely immerse myself away from everything else, every ones demands, my thoughts and obnoxious hookers and whatever else.
I will definitely be going gold for peatonville. Hurry up Friday!
